Menimist

Act 2 Sc. 3 Page 57

When God made Eve, He did two things. First He made the quickest, most pleasurable past time known to man and secondly he put the biggest curse on Adam and on all the males that followed. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not gay or anything – I tell what I observe. Ever since it’s advent, the weaker sex has been whining about not getting enough rights even though the stronger sex only tries to make it happy. And, though controversy still surrounds why Adam actually ate the apple, I’m pretty sure it had something do with him trying to make please Eve. Sigh… I could have been roaming around naked in heaven had it not been for Eve.
Anyway, let’s forget heaven and talk about our own not-too-close-to heaven country. Ever since I arrived in this world and my ears gained the sense of hearing, I’ve listened to Pakistani women whine about not getting as many rights as men. Okay, fair enough, I get that women want equal rights, but what I don’t get is, who are they asking for these rights? If they are asking God, then, well, they could do that without making such a fuss and throwing such tantrums. If, however, they are asking for equal rights from men, then doesn’t that actually solve the whole problem? I mean who are men to grant women their rights? Could it be that they actually are superior, thus women need to ask them for their rights rather than just accepting these civil liberties as something they already own?
Even I don’t know why women rights activists exist and why there are so many feminists. I am actually of the view that women already have equal if not more rights than men and this is especially true for us here in Pakistan. Don’t believe me? I’ll present you with three instances which depict the true situation. Just carry on reading.

Case No. 1 - The Car-Token Misery: Being quite lazy, I didn’t pay the tax imposed on my car until the very last day that reduced rates applied. I went to the nearest post office and as expected, found a long queue of individuals who smelled like a hard day’s work. I sighed and stood at the end of the queue cursing the fact that there was only one window. An hour and 15 minutes later I slowly but surely got closer to my goal and even though I was tired as hell and smelled like a dead horse, I was at least satisfied that my car’s debt to the government would soon be paid for. There was only one person ahead of me. Just then, however, disaster struck. An aunty crept up behind me and I was quite shocked since the last time I checked, there was a bearded uncle behind me and him turning into an aunty is, well, quite shocking. But when I looked back, the uncle was still there. In the meantime, the aunty, completely oblivious of my existence, decided to take my place. I tried to reason with her and then later with the post office clerk, saying that I was there before her and it was my turn, but both of them ignored my pleas. To add insult to injury the clerk didn’t even accept my car’s papers, saying that the time for submission was over. A vein in my brain popped.
I ask of all you women-folk: where were my rights when that aunty overtook me, eh? Had a man done this to me, even the clerk would have supported me. However, nobody says anything when women are given this sort of preferential treatment.

Case No. 2 - The Sinbad disaster: When my sister arrived from Egypt this year, I decided to break my record and finally take her kids out for a fun-filled evening. Now she has 3 kids: 2 are boys, aged 10 and 8 and one’s a little girl aged 4, though sometimes I feel that the 8-year-old is also a girl. Since the girl is quite young and requires a lot more attention, I decided to leave her and took the boys to Fortress where I planned to take them to Sinbad. It was my mistake, however, to think that Sinbad was for children, as clearly it states outside the door that it’s only for “families”. The next question is quite obvious, what does one mean by “family”? Should there be a man, a woman and 2 children to constitute a family? NO! To constitute a family, according to Sinbad, one needs to bring a girl/woman along. I honestly fail to see the reason behind this. I mean, aren’t videogames actually for children and if we are being absolutely honest, males in general? I tried to reason with the guard and later fake threatened him by saying that he might lose his job because I knew the owners. But all my efforts were in vein and I had to bring my disappointed nephews home, all because I wasn’t a woman. Humph!

Case No. 3 - The “Park View” park mishap: One day, I had to take my mother to visit someone. Now, I’m not the social animal that man was supposed to be and I drop-and-pick my mom every time she wants to go visit someone. While dropping her off, I noticed a very nice, well-maintained park nearby and decided to kill time there. However, this was not to be. I entered the park, sat on the nearest bench and started reading one of my law books. Just then, I noticed that a guard was running towards me. I started wondering whether I had parked my car in the wrong place. It turned out though, that the thing I had parked wrongly wasn’t my car – it was my behind. According to the guard, the park was only for women and children. Too bitter by my past experiences, I didn’t even argue this time. It seems that being a male, I don’t deserve fresh air or greenery. These are only feminine rights.

I’m almost sick of seeing women getting better treatment for the simple fact that they are women. The above were only three situations, in real life one observes a lot – such as women getting out of traffic violations for free and getting better discounts. If women want equal rights, maybe it’s time that they also give up some of the rights which they take for granted. Heck! With the way things are I think it’s almost shameful for women to ask for more rights. I’m sure Sir Elton would agree.

This was an article written by someone, but sounds like something Todd would read.

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